Sex, sex and more sex

So, today we’re talking about sex with Avery Flynn! More importantly, how to get into the mood to write a sex scene when you might not be in the mood. This happens to me often so I’m glad Avery shared her tips!

Here’s Avery.

I love Tina Fey.

(I know, probably not the first words you expect when reading a blog titled Sex, Sex and More Sex, but I swear it fits in.)

In her movie Date Night there is a scene at the beginning when she comes to bed wearing a ratty old T-shirt and her retainer. Her husband (the adorable Steve Carell) looks at her and says, “I guess were not having sex tonight.” This leads to a discussion of whether they can rally, i.e. change their mindset and get up the energy for sex.

This scene made me laugh out loud. Not because it’s a situation my characters Josie Winarsky and Sam Layton encounter in Passion Creek. No way. Those two are so attracted to each other they have to practically sit on their hands not to touch each other. However, as the chronicler of their story, I had to rally a time or two to get in the mood to write hot sex scenes. Face it, even we writers get headaches.

So what do I do to rally? How do I get in the mood to write a sex scene?


1. Music. I break out the old school Prince. Slow Love is at the top of my list for great songs to write sex to, along with Adore, Soft and Wet and When You Were Mine. Some sample lyrics from Slow Love, “U can see through race car drivers / Let me show U what I’m made of / Tonight is the night 4 making slow love.” The man cannot spell to save his life, but oh can he write a damn good rally song.
2. No Distractions. Most of the time my house is a zoo with animals, children and a husband wandering through my office (I swear one of these days I’m putting in a door.). This is not conducive to writing a love scene. So I save them for mid-afternoon when everyone has wondered away or late at night when they’re all sacked out.


3. Motivation. Not my motivation, the characters. In Passion Creek, Josie and Sam are attracted to each other from the get-go, but when they finally make love it’s not just about sex. It’s about that connection they have forged with each other that is expressed through what their bodies do together. Like in real life, plain sex is good but emotionally-charged sex is amazing.


A glass of wine and a back rub sure help too, but those are my top three requirements for writing a sex scene. I’m tempted to say a visit from Mark Wahlberg (who plays the hot security expert in Date Night) would help, but I can’t imagine I’d have any energy left over to type. 🙂

Passion Creek by Avery Flynn – Blurb

Uptight history professor Sam Layton may have the abs of a movie action hero, but he stopped
believing in the joy of adventure a long time ago. However, when a one-night stand with a tattooed bombshell leads to a treasure map for the long-buried Rebecca’s Bounty, the call to action is too strong to ignore.

All Las Vegas cocktail waitress Josie Winarsky wants to do is paint. But when she lands smack dab in the middle in a mob plot, she has to push aside her dreams to find a treasure in Dry Creek,
Nebraska and save her family from harm. With Sam at her side and a Vegas loan shark on her tail, the treasure she finds turn out to be much more valuable than emeralds and rubies.

Passion Creek by Avery Flynn available Aug. 31.

Watch the book trailer at


About Avery Flynn

Avery Flynn has three slightly-wild children, loves a hockey-addicted husband and is desperately hoping someone invents the coffee IV drip. Evernight Publishing released the first two books in her Layton Family series, Temptation Creek and Seduction Creek. The third book in the series, Passion Creek, released on Aug. 31. Find out more about Avery on her blog (, follow her on Twitter (@averyflynn), like her on Facebook ( or friend her on Facebook ( Also, if you figure out how to send Oreos through the Internet, she’ll be your best friend for life.

Keira here!

Thanks for being here, Avery! I found these tips very helpful and I intend to start using them. First step is moving the laptop to my office for the sex scenes.

Anyone else have other tips for writing sex scenes?

Sweet, sexy dreams!


9 comments to Sex, sex and more sex

  • Avery Flynn
    September 5, 2012 at 8:47 am

    Thanks so much for having me over today!

  • Jenny Lyn
    September 5, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Those are all great tips, Avery. And wouldn’t we all just die for some personal “inspiration” from Mark Wahlberg. One thing that works for me is visualization. I try to imagine the sexiest scene I can think of then get it down on the page. Sometimes remembering a love scene I’ve watched in a movie helps.

    • Keira
      September 7, 2012 at 12:33 am

      LOL. I’d love some personal inspiration from Mark Wahlberg! Hmm. Might have to fast forward through some movies to the love scenes.

  • Avery Flynn
    September 5, 2012 at 10:25 am

    Movies are a great help. Excellent suggestion Jenny!

  • L.J. Kentowski
    September 5, 2012 at 5:52 pm

    Great tips Avery! I’m a music-aholic, so I’m definitely in with using the music vibe. Another way I like to get “in the mood” is to read some great sex scenes from authors I admire, one that really stuck with me. But being careful not to project it into my own writing.

    • Keira
      September 7, 2012 at 12:44 am

      I worry about using another author’s phrasing so I try not to read anything in the genre I’m writing. I might have to pull out some sex scenes though and see how others do it.

  • Mary Roya
    September 5, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    You can get a back rub! Geez, it takes an act of congress to get my hubby to do that. You lucky dog. I like the suggestions.

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